


Roadtrip!

by SleepWontVisitMeAnymore



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-23
Updated: 2015-01-23
Packaged: 2018-03-08 18:21:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3218792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepWontVisitMeAnymore/pseuds/SleepWontVisitMeAnymore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The six avengers are stuck in a rented minivan together, driving from New York to Boston. Tony gets bored before they've even left Manhattan and causes mayhem like only Tony Stark can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roadtrip!

“Why does she get to drive? I'm the best driver here!”

Tony complains from the middle seat of the rented minivan, squished in-between Steve and Clint.

“You got 10 speeding tickets last month.” Steve says, rolling his eyes.

Tony casts him an offended look and pokes Clint with a his index finger.

“Clint, please tell Steve that I am no longer speaking to him.”

Clint sighs dramatically and says “Fine, Steve, Tony says-”

“Yes, I heard him.” Steve replies, hiding his smile by turning his face towards the window.

“Clint, please inform Mr. Rogers that I will forgive him if he joins me in the backseat to help me pass the time.” Tony winks to no one in particular.

Clint grimaces. “Ew, why do I have to tell him?”

“Because you are like a son to me, and you must do as your father says.”

Steve lets out a small laugh and tries to cover it with a cough.

“You're only 7 years older than me, Stark.” Clint retorts, and then pokes his tongue out at Tony for good measure.

“Nat, please tell Clint he is grounded when we get home.” Tony says, putting on his sunglasses, and fixing his hair in the rearview mirror.

“No.” Nat says cooly, and then turns up the radio.

“Why not? I asked nicely!” Tony reaches over the gearbox and changes the radio off the classical music station and onto heavy rock.

Steve sighs, wraps an arm around the smaller mans shoulders, and leans his head on top of Tony's prickly hair.

“I know you're bored babe, but seriously, shut up for a bit, yeah?”

“Nat, please tell Steve he is not allowed to talk to me until we get to Boston.” Tony says, but he can't help but cuddle into Steve's side, reaching up and interlacing his fingers with Steve's.

Nat doesn't reply, she just changes the station back to Mozart.

“Bruce...Bruce?” Tony calls.

“He's sleeping, leave him alone.” Clint says, and then promptly falls asleep himself.

“Fine. Thor!” Tony turns around fully in his seat to face the back row, Steve's arm now across Tony's chest, covering the Arc Reactor.

Tony grins widely at the norse god.

“Wait...are you drinking whiskey out of a water bottle?” he asks in awe.

“Fear not, young Anthony, I am told this delightful drink is called scotch.” Thor replies, taking a big gulp.

“Oh good god...” Steve says, covering his face with his free hand.

“I knew I liked you for a reason, can I have a sip, big guy?”

Thor nods, and hands the bottle over, but Tony isn't quick enough and Steve manages to throw the large bottle out of his open window and into the nearest trashcan before Tony can blink.

 

**3 hours later (and 5 miles later) :**

“Hey Bruce, can you pass me the map?” Clint says, pulling onto the side of the road.

“Sure, where is it?” Bruce asks, placing his bookmark in his book.

“Backseat.” Clint rubs his eyes, and tries to remember whose stupid idea this little venture was.

Bruce turns around in his seat. “'Kay, let me just...OH GROSS!.”

Clint jumps. “What?” He looks in the rear view mirror to see Bruce looking a little green. No pun intended, well okay, a little bit intended.

“Cap and Stark are making out on the floor.” Bruce replies wearily.

Clint laughs. “Oh well, at least it shut him up.”

 

** 5 minutes later: **

“STOP MOANING LIKE THAT OR SO HELP ME GOD, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND, I MEAN IT STARK.”

 

** 43 minutes later: **

“Are we there yet?” Tony whines loudly from the backseat. Steve's fallen asleep during the last mile, and he is now snoring into Tony's perfectly quaffed hair. Which would be fine, if Steve's head didn't weigh a ton. Tony's pretty sure he can actually feel his scalp collapsing into his brain.

“Nobody answer him, I beg of you.” Bruce says quietly from the drivers seat. 

 

** 2 hours later: **

“Oh wow, would you look at that? A small old woman WALKING WITH A CANE just passed us. Go Grandma, she's going for the gold this year.” Tony commentates from the passenger seat.

Steve shots him a 'quit it' face, he had been driving for the last hour and Tony had taken it upon himself to “entertain” the rest of occupants the car. 

“Steve, that signs means the speed limit is 100. It's not telling you to drive like you're 100, you do get that, right?” Tony says, looking pained.

“Technically I'm 97.” Steve says lightly, finally seeing their exit coming up ahead.

“Does that make you my sugar daddy?” Tony asks, smirking over at Steve, raising his eyebrows suggestively. 

Clint splutters on the orange juice he had just been drinking. 

“Stark, please. There are children in the car.” 

 

A few minutes later, the team finally arrive at their destination.

Before leaving the dreaded minivan, they all agree to pretend like the last 6 hours didn't happen, and to never take a road trip together again. 

 

The end. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know what this nonsense is, to be quite frank.  
> But hey, I love writing these and you guys seem to like reading them, so I'll just keep writing them until I get either bored with them or I run out of ideas.  
> Enjoy!


End file.
